


Red Eyed Monster, Red Eyed Lover

by mantisbelle



Category: RWBY
Genre: Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Nightmares, Past Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-11 10:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7887289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mantisbelle/pseuds/mantisbelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nightmares and reality bleed together, with red eyes being all that he can see and all he can hear is heartbeats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Eyed Monster, Red Eyed Lover

**Author's Note:**

  * For [efrondeur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/efrondeur/gifts).



> A while ago, my good friend albino_atilla prompted me on tumblr with "You love me, right?" and the request that the fic is for Ironqrow. 
> 
> This is that fic. I really hope you enjoy it, Red!

There were a lot of nights which were difficult for James. Nights where nightmares are reality began to bleed together into a single, indeterminate haze and he couldn't quite draw the lines between what was happening in real time and what was nothing more than a half-forgotten memory that was feeling entirely too real in the moment.

Most nights, he was alone when those evils would choose to rise up in his mind. Most of the time he was able to curl up in the bottom of his shower, hide his face, and let the water bring him back to where he was supposed to be.

Those were the nights when he was _home._

Tonight, however, he didn't have such a luxury. Tonight, he was lying awake staring at a white ceiling that didn't belong to him, half-covered by a slumbering Qrow Branwen, who almost assuredly was doing his best to sleep so long that he'd manage to skip his hangover.

James couldn't bring himself to wake Qrow, and the way that Qrow had chosen to sprawl across James' chest that night didn't make lying there any easier.

James couldn't move. He couldn't wake Qrow, but he couldn't move for another reason.

When he closed his eyes, his right side would erupt in pain as a harsh reminder of what had happened. It was bad enough that he didn’t know he’d be able to walk ever again.

When he closed his eyes, he saw a pair of black wings so large they blocked out the sun.

When he closed his eyes, he found himself on a battlefield, barely able to move as he bled out.

 _No_.

That wasn't where he wanted to be. So instead, James kept his eyes open and resigned himself to the fact that he had nothing to do but to stare up at the ceiling above him and hope that eventually Qrow would wake.

Or at least just roll off of him so that James could get up.

_What was he even doing there?_

Why was he in _Qrow Branwen's_ bed?

Their relationship, if one could call it that, wasn't like most relationships. There was trust, but there didn't seem to be much mutual feeling underneath it. They were coworkers whose relationship outside of work seemed to be nothing more than sharing drinks once in awhile before tumbling into bed together and splitting off in the morning as though it meant nothing.

And yet, James was still there.

James was still there, lying in bed next to Qrow Branwen, who he was sure had no mutual feelings towards him, and was presently naked, as was James.

_What was he doing here?_

On his chest, James felt Qrow’s weight shift, and he almost stopped breathing for the entire duration of the time.

His chest ached.

Qrow shifted, sniffling lightly in his sleep and clutched at the blankets that were wrapped around the two of them. He was lucky to be oblivious as to what was going on with James. Lucky Qrow, he didn't have even the slightest idea as to what was happening.

That was for the better, James supposed. The less that Qrow knew meant that there were fewer reasons for Qrow to try and drink the feeling away if it was something that Qrow didn't want to deal with.

As for James, he could manage.

He was used to this for the most part.

He just wasn’t used to being away from home when the nightmares came in full force.

Slowly, James inhaled the night air, hoping that he’d be able to calm himself down so that he didn’t inevitably end up jolting if he let himself lie there for too much longer. And hopefully, if he was lucky, he wouldn’t end up disturbing Qrow at all.

Qrow shifted on his chest again, this time squirming and moving his leg so that it tangled with James’ warm left leg. The real leg. _His_ leg.

James winced, and turned his head away so that he didn’t have to look at Qrow. He didn’t want to have to think about what was going on with Qrow too much more. If he didn't think about the situation with Qrow, then it couldn't hurt him.

He let his eyes slip closed for a moment, only for the image of a Beowulf's claws to tear through his mind as violently as they had once tore through him. James’ eyes shot back open, his heart sped up rapidly, and James jolted, finally disturbing Qrow and accidentally shaking the other man awake.

"Jim?" Qrow asked as he sat up, rubbing his eyes and trying to figure out what was going on. His eyes widened for a moment, and then he sat up, reached out, and placed his hands on James' shoulders. "James."

James struggled to focus, reached up, and pushed Qrow away, almost violently. He pulled his knees up to his chest, and hugged them to his body so that he could at least protect himself while he sat there. He buried his face in his arms, trying to hide himself from Qrow as well as he possibly could.

The entire world around him blacked out and became a battlefield from nearly fifteen years ago.

He didn't belong there.

He didn't want to be there.

He couldn't _breathe_.

Sensation.

A pair of warm hands on his body. One, fully there and real, the other, nothing more than a pressure on his right side begging to be noticed.

Qrow's voice. "James?"

James shook his head, trying not to look up ."No." He mumbled, trying to find his way through the haze in his mind that had been formed out of a mixture of pure exhaustion and unadulterated fear. " _No_."

"Jim." Qrow asked again, moving his hands slowly so that he could try to get James' attention. "Can you look at me?"

James couldn't bring himself to respond. Couldn't bring himself to look into a pair of red eyes.

Vaguely, James could make out the sound of Qrow swearing, and shifting about in the bed around him. If he hadn't been in the haze of panic, James would have actually noticed what Qrow was doing. If he'd been there and not a thousand miles and fifteen years away, he would have been able to comprehend Qrow’s actions.

A warm blanket made its way around James' bare shoulders, and was even pulled up over James' head. Qrow edged close to James on the bed, reached out, and gently placed a hand on James' exposed left forearm. "Hey?" Qrow asked, shifting his body so that he could try to make some sort of eye contact. "Can you talk to me? Are you in there?"

James blinked, feeling like his entire body had gone completely numb and inhaled deeply, trying to get his body and his mind back under his control. He managed to look up, only to catch the red of Qrow's eyes.

_Grimm._

He buried his face down in his arms again and his entire body shook with the motion. " _Go_." He managed to mumble.

"Go?" Qrow asked, sounding like he was thoroughly confused at that point. "Go where?"

"Away."

Qrow shifted on the bed again, reached out, and took James' wrists in his hands, gently moving to uncurl them from around James' body in hopes that he'd be able to worm his way back into James' world, even if he would only be there long enough to bring James back to reality. "Hey, it's me." Qrow said, keeping his voice as soft as he possibly could. "James, it's Qrow. It's me."

James looked away from Qrow, feeling deeply unsure as to what he was supposed to say to the other man.

“Qrow.” He croaked out the name, feeling like his lips would crack with the pronunciation. Three times, James blinked, trying to focus in on Qrow’s face and trying not to let his red eyes bleed into the monsters that haunted his memory. “Qrow.”  
  
“Hey.” Qrow answered, keeping his voice quiet. “Are you there, Jim?” He softened his expression and his touch as much as he could, in hopes that he’d at the very least manage to keep James calm.  
  
James looked away from Qrow, staring off a thousand years away from him. He didn't know what he was supposed to say to Qrow then and there. It wasn't simple, it wasn't a question that could necessarily be answered with a yes or no. It was something else entirely.  
  
For a minute, James stumbled from thought to thought in an effort to finally say something to Qrow that was intelligible.

Real.

Conscious.

"I don't know," James mumbled. His fingertips brushed against the blanket, which he pulled tight around him, covering up the silver shine of his right side, and the spiderwebs of scar tissue that crossed over onto James' left. "I don't know."  
  
"Do you want water?" Qrow asked, reaching up to slide the blanket down off of James' head so that he could get some better eye contact. "Tell me what I can do to help, James."  
  
"Water." James affirmed. Water was good. Water was calming. Water was life. "Please."

"Alright." Qrow whispered and stood up, sliding off of the bed and finding a pair of boxers that he slipped into before stepping out of the room. From where he sat on the bed, James was able to peer back over at Qrow, and watched as the other man disappeared from his world.  
  
And then James was alone again, and the room around him was the only universe left to exist.  
  
He buried his head in those blankets and in his arms again, afraid to look up and see how alone he was. His breathing was still wrong, broken and labored as a result of a mixture of panic and the synthetic lung that rested under the metal plating of his right side.

All that James could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat.  
  
It made him want to scream.  
  
But he didn't have the energy for that.  
  
Distantly, he could make out the sound of water running in another room of the house.  
  
Qrow's footfalls.  
  
The door creaking open quietly.  
  
The bed squeaked as Qrow joined him there, carrying a glass of water and a flask of something else in his other hand. "Hey." Qrow whispered, getting James' attention. "Got your water."  
  
James reached out for the drink with a barely stable hand, brought the glass of water to his lips, and he drank. Qrow settled beside James on the bed, and reached out, wrapping his arm around James' shoulders and squeezing lightly. They shifted again, and Qrow leaned forward, wrapping his arms around James and  doing his best to comfort James from where he was, gently rubbing at James' shoulders.

Qrow leaned further into James and pressed his chest as close to James’ back as he possibly could. “Try to breathe with me?"

James inhaled deeply, trying to match with Qrow's breaths as best as he could. A strangled sob caught in his throat, James desperate not to let it escape or make a sound. He moved his arms now, reaching up so that he could set his hands on Qrow's where they touched him. He let his head hang forward, making room for Qrow to set his chin on James' shoulder.

"There we go." Qrow whispered, gently rubbing the point of his chin into the flesh at James' left shoulder. "Do you want to talk now?"

This time, James nodded. "Yes." He croaked the word out, choking back tears and sobs the entire time. For just a moment, James picked his head up to rub against the side of Qrow's in a half-nuzzle.

"What happened?"

"Nightmares." James whispered. "And they wouldn't stop."

"Any pain?" Qrow asked, genuine concern touching his voice. "Do you need me to get-"

"Some pain." James said with a grimace stretched across his face. "Don't want anything for it."

"Okay." Qrow said. He pulled away for just a moment so that he could pull some of James' blanket over his legs so that they were both more comfortable. "I won't get you anything. Do you want to lie back down?"

"Yes." James answered. Slowly, the two of them began to lie down among the blankets. James settled in first, with Qrow taking the time to try and arrange how the blankets surrounded them to be as comfortable as possible. Nest-like, even. Once he was done, Qrow curled in against James, wrapped his arms around the larger man and pulled him close so that James' head rested against his chest.

Qrow began to card his fingers through James' hair, mostly focused on getting James to relax under his touches. "Better?"

"A little bit." James mumbled. His fingers made their way into the blankets, gripping them gently since they were about the only lifeline that James could hope to get there. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you need me." Qrow answered, as though it was the most obvious thing that he could say. "And leaving you like this would be kind of a dick move."

James blinked, and nuzzled into Qrow's chest. He could hear the sound of Qrow's heart beating now, just through the man's rib cage. "Thank you for staying." James mumbled.

"What are you thanking me for?"

"Being here."

Qrow let out a chuckle, low and throaty, and just a little bit raspy. "There's nothing to thank me for, Jim."

"But-"

"James." Qrow cut him off. "You know I love you, right?"

James opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn't think of something that he could say that would make this right. _Did_ he know that Qrow loved him? Was that what this relationship was? Was there something there besides what James had long assumed to be a one-sided romantic attraction on his part? He turned his head and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling some of the hair from Qrow's chest tickling his brow as he did so.

Once again, James tried not to let his tears rise.

"James?" Qrow's voice almost sounded panicked. "Talk to me?"

"I-" Swallow. "I don't know."

Qrow’s expression sank, his red eyes softening so far that James could no longer consider them on the same level as the monsters that refused to release him from their grasp. James stared into their depths, finding comfort there and he silently wished that he knew how to reach out and comfort Qrow, despite the fact that Qrow was comforting him right now.

"Qrow?" He asked, forcing the other man's name out of his lips. "You..."

"For a while, Jim." Qrow answered. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

Qrow was right, James realized then. If he didn't care for James on at least some level, their relationship as things were wouldn't have been able to exist. Qrow would have ran if he didn't feel something.

In one motion, James pulled his eyes away from Qrow's and stared off at the wall, not wanting to face the pain that Qrow wore in his eyes. "How long?"

"A while."

"How long is a while?"

Qrow sighed heavily. "Three, four years. Ever since you ended up working with Oz's little group." James felt Qrow's fingertips beginning to brush through his hair again. He didn't know whether he should have pushed Qrow away, so instead James just accepted the feeling.

"Oh." James managed a word out, half-grimacing with it. How long had he been oblivious to Qrow's feelings? He'd always thought that to Qrow this relationship was just work and sex and nothing else. There wasn't any way that there could have been anything underneath that.

People weren't actually capable of loving James. Not all of him, at least.

"James?" Qrow's voice wore as much worry as his eyes did. "Can you-"

"Say something?"

"Yeah." Qrow frowned. James could feel him shifting around on the bed slightly, and didn't even realize what was happening until Qrow had climbed up and into James' line of sight. "Look, if this is stupid just-"

James pushed himself upright and reached up with his metal hand to push his hair back out of his face, though he was sure that it was just going to fall out of place in a few minutes anyways. "It's..." Something uncomfortable began to build up in James' chest, and he felt weighed down by something unnameable and intangible. "It's not stupid, Qrow."

"Jim?" Silence. "Do you-"

Hesitation.

"I... I think so." James said. "For a while. But-"

"But you're too chickenshit to mention it." Qrow chuckled. "Like me."

The phrasing definitely wasn't the kindest that it could have been, but James didn't mind it so much. It was the most accurate thing that Qrow could have said, really. For men who slayed monsters for a living, in a lot of ways they were both cowards.

"We'll go with that." James whispered, moving himself closer to Qrow, slowly. He reached out, wrapped his arms around Qrow, and pulled him close. James let his eyes flit shut and rested his head against Qrow's chest. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." Qrow whispered back. James felt Qrow's arms wrap around him, pulling him closer and then they were followed by the sensation of Qrow's fingers carding through his hair again. "Do you want me to get you anything?" Qrow's finger made its way to James' jaw, and James and his eyes met. "Are you going to be alright?"

"I think so." James mumbled. He stared into Qrow's eyes and then let his eyes flick around the room. It was starting to feel warmer, like he actually belonged there as opposed to the wasteland that he’d been in only an hour before. "I just want to lay here."

"You do?"

James nodded. He gently squeezed Qrow, reminding himself that he wasn't alone, and trying to remind Qrow of the same thing. "Yes." James managed. "I do."

Qrow chuckled, the sound warm and throaty as opposed to his usual rasping laugh. James felt Qrow squeeze him back, and the way that Qrow was shifting so that the two of them could settle in the bed tangled up in each other in a way that was actually comfortable.

James closed his eyes and nuzzled into Qrow's neck. "You love me, right?

"I do," Qrow said. "I'm not going to be leaving you alone here or kicking you out like usual, if that's what you're worried about. Things are different now, Jim. Remember that."

"I can remember that."

"I know," Qrow said. "You need to sleep."

"So do you."

Qrow tugged at the edge of the blanket that he'd draped over James' body, and James was quick to oblige and lift himself up so that the blanket could be pulled out from under him. Once Qrow had it, James settled back in, and closed his eyes as the two of them were draped in warmth and comfort.

Finally, James closed his eyes. This time, nothing reached out to grab him. No pain shot down his right side like his nerves had been set alight. The wings of a nevermore didn't stretch over him, nor did he hear the howl of a Beowulf.

There was peace, and he wasn't alone to endure should that peace fade away.

Slowly, sleep overtook him. He nuzzled into Qrow when he could, and made sure to keep him close because there was safety in cuddling. And when James finally drifted away, he slept through the rest of the night without nightmares or dreams.

At his side, Qrow just held him close, occasionally stroking James' hair out of the way until he too could rest. Things weren't perfect, they were far from it, but in the morning, he and James would have to talk. They'd have to lay out what this was, and set rules beyond what had already been established between them.

Qrow didn't mind that. Usually he wasn't one to enjoy rules and boundaries, but for this, he was more than willing to endure them. This was a slice of perfection, and he was glad to finally be able to share it with James in full confidence that come morning, it would be alright for both of them to be there.

After an hour, Qrow finally slipped away to sleep himself.

They were going to have to talk, yes.

But that was for the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all comments and criticism are greatly appreciated.
> 
> [I'm on tumblr. Sometimes stuff happens. I'm always willing to take questions there!](http://tyrian-callows.tumblr.com/)


End file.
